Monday, March 05, 2007

White Trash Mom

I had this wonderful idea. Now, I realize it was a fantasy. Just like how you get all excited for that Christmas party with your family and your kids. You envision it being an angelic party and the kids gleefully opening their gifts, running to grandpa and grandma (Opa and Oma), and smacking a loving kiss and a polite "thank you". Only to actually have tantrums, presents "ripped" open, manners not used, and chaos everywhere.
I was making the kids breakfast this morning, and I found myself getting irritated with the fact that we only have 4 small dinner plates left out of 12. Through the years, plates have gotten chipped or broken and I, being from the dutch decent, have not thought it feasible to get new ones. So, the last few years, we have eaten breakfast and lunch on paper plates, saving the "real thing" for dinner. Those 4 plates usually get dirty quickly, and then get stuck in the dishwasher and the irritation begins as I open the cupboard to realize that there are NO MORE LEFT. So, my wonderful idea around 9:00am was to load the kids up and head to the store to buy some new dishes. I didn't care what they looked like or how well they were made. I new a plate or cup would be broken in the next week or so anyway. Of all days, the kids DIDN'T want to go out. UGGG. So, being the patient, calm mom that I am, I literally shoved 4 crying kids through the door and off we went. I decided to head to Value City. For those of you who live in the GR area, you are shivering right about now. I know, but I knew their dishes were cheap and that is what I wanted. As we got to the store, I realized that I had not "really" gotten the kids dressed. I was so fixated on my wonderful idea, that I had forgotten to do anything to them. As we walked in, I noticed that Elli had on bright blue socks with hot pink tennis shoes. Which would be fine, if her pants she picked out by herself this morning weren't from last year and thus were about--umm--4 inches too short!! Her glasses were so filthy, that I saw her looking OVER her glasses to see, b/c obviously she could see better without her glasses than actually looking through them. I then scanned the others and saw Tessa's coat!! There was left over sucker slobber on her coat from about 5 days ago when we went through the bank drive-thru. She had been crying in the car, and so I asked the teller for suckers--it worked wonders. The slobber had hardened, and on her dark coat looked like a big grease pit. I took off her hat and felt the left over peanut butter in her hair from her breakfast. She even had a little on her cheeks as well. Thys and Josie must have found their clothes from yesterday in the laundry basket, b/c that is what they were wearing today as well--even after a spaghetti dinner last night. I started looking around hoping that people were not looking at me like I was this lazy mom who just stayed home and loafed and didn't pay attention to my kids personal hygiene. I already get the stares with 4 kids so close in age. As we headed straight for the dishes, Josie and Thys decided to do the running around the clothes rack thing--which deserved a gentle reprimand--hehe--from me. As we got to the dishes I told all the kids to leave their hands in their pockets so that we aren't tempted to touch anything.--and of course, I get " what?, why?" Hello!! Just as I started to look at the dishes, I hear a "crash". Oh yes, the lovely porcelain Easter bunny no longer has a tail. Josie didn't quite catch the whole "hands in the pocket" lecture. So, like any good mom, I ignored the crash and shoved a box of dished in the cart and walked away like nothing happened. (I am feeling a tad guilty about that one). As we are checking out, which always seems to take too long with 4 kids, my Josie decides that Value City would be the perfect place to lay down on the floor and "rest". And this wasn't a lay on your back rest, this was a face first on the floor, rub it all around, kind of rest. So, again, the white trash came out in me, and there I go 1/2 yelling (not at full sound, but I am sure loud enough, to draw a few stares). As I was getting in the car, my fuse almost about to fire, tantrum after tantrum began. I found my knees going into 4 guts to get the seat belts fastened, and the radio blaring (to 91.3 WCSG of course), to drown out the piercing cries.
Only to get home and open the box and find out that 2 mugs were cracked in half---HELP!!!, I can't go back to that place.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would be happy to return those plates for you. LOL. I'm still shivering at the thought of Josie's face on the Value City floor.

denhartigh said...

I am totally laughing out loud. I have been there SO many times. I love those great ideas which really aren't great at all when you think about doing it with 4 kids. Too funny. Sounds like you "fit" right into Value City anyway. I would say go back to return then during an evening when the kids aren't with you. Thanks for sharing. Just what I need to hear after a bad day on my end.

Brenda said...

YOU need to sell your tales of motherhood or do stand-up!

Michelle said...

T, ahh...Value City conjers up so many memories for me. In high school, I would scour that place for the perfect pair of Guess jeans , and I actually went into labor with my first baby in that store!!!

I'm sorry your experience there was so dreadful!!

Angie said...

I was at Panera with a friend and he commented that there were a lot of moms wearing sweats out in public. He asked if I did that...I swore that I didn't and wouldn't.

The next day I ended up at Meijer in my own 'white trash' outfit, (comparable to sweats). I think that the harder you try to avoid it, the more quickly you become 'those people'.

I loved your tale!