I am a blustering mess!

Ahhh....big exhale. Tonight was bittersweet. I never thought I would be emotional about things like this. But, it had to happen. She (and he) have been asking for months to have new beds. I think it was ME who was prolonging the inevitable. So, tonight we DID IT!!


All 3 girls have slept in this crib. It has been up, and never taken down, for 5 years now. When we moved into our house 5 years ago, Elli was 15 mo. old. I was 7 mo. pregnant with the twins and at that point we knew Elli needed to be put in a big girl bed within the next 2 mo. since I was not going to have 3 cribs in one house. So, the day we moved into this house, was the day Elli started in a big girl bed. A few weeks later we put this crib back up, along with a 2nd one for Thys, and it has been up ever since. I remember the night we put it back up anticipating the twins. As Dean set it up in their room I sat on the floor, big as a whale, and was having the hardest time deciding about which baby I was going to let sleep in the "nice" bed, since the other crib we had was an old one I had bought at a garage sale. Ultimately, I thought that the "girl" twin should sleep in it, since Elli being a girl, had slept in it previously. I know....it's the only way I could justify not showing favoritism.

Josie slept in it until about 2 weeks before Tessa was born, when she moved into her big girl bed now. My kids couldn't even give me a nice smile while I was wiping away tears behind the camera. They were complaining about why they had to stop watching some tv show to stand in a crib, while their mommy cried and literally wanted to stop daddy with every screw he was screwing out. Someday, they will get all sappy about it....right?

And now Tessa's new big girl bed....if you look close, you can almost see her peeking out. I know, she is too little for a bed that size right? I should have never done it, she needs the comfort of a bed her size for a bit longer. She can't be old enough yet for this.....will this scar her? Will she grow up thinking that this world is just too big for her lonely little soul?

The big man himself, in the bed and bedroom he has been talking about for years. Well, not really years since he is only 4 and didn't really comprehend the whole bed thing until about age 3, and then didn't even want to be separated from his sisters until about 3 mo. ago...so, he has been talking about this bed and bedroom for umm.. about 3 mo. (How do you like that for a run on sentence!!).

Ok, and then to top it all off....my nasty husband (I say that with every term of endearment left in me)....I need to add that in there, since I need to blame someone for my emotional state right now, decided to burn the rocking chair that I have rocked all my babies in the middle of the night in. Let me clarify this, since I don't really want you all to think that I have the nastiest husband out there (although, I could put up a good argument right now--he is going to tell me I am throwing him under the bus again). This rocking chair has been falling apart for a few years now, but again, I needed to hold onto it. Too many memories of rocking those little babes in the middle of the night. Projectile vomit splattering on it, and me being too tired to clean it up. I can do it in the morning...to never do it, to find it completely dried up 2 weeks later. It had a little creak, that only I could eliminate at 2am. I knew exactly how to rock in it, so that it never creaked, as to not wake the baby once they had drifted off to never never land. So, tonight, since I was already a blustering mess, I decided to allow Dean to get rid of it. I knew the garbage man was coming tomorrow, so I asked Dean if he could take it apart and put it in the garbage can. Next thing I knew, he was coming up the back hill with a gasoline can in his hand. WHAT!!! What are you doing with that? He tells me he is burning the rocking chair I have rocked, nursed, cleaned vomit, and poop off of for 6 years. All I asked was for him to nicely place it in the garbage can for the nice garbage man to throw gently into the nice blue garbage truck tomorrow morning, hopefully before I roll out of bed to see it all happening. Instead, I have this raging fire in my back yard right now.

And to top it all off, all 4 kids wanted to watch it burn. No, "thanks mom for rocking us it for hours upon hours", "thanks for nursing me and keeping me alive for 6mo in the middle of night in it", "thanks mom for cleaning up my vomit while my tummy hurt because you decided to eat those extra spicy burritos tonight", no, I got nothing. I got nothing but a little turd who couldn't run fast enough to watch the sentimental rocking chair burn, that she fell flat on her face while running down the hill to get a better look.