My son is a whiner. Whining to me is like running your fingernails down a chalkboard. It gets my blood boiling and sends evil shivers down my spine. I turn into an evil mom whenever I hear it. I would much rather be locked in a room with a screaming baby than in a room with a whining child. Looking back on video of Thys, he seems to have always been a whiner. I don't know why all of a sudden the last few weeks it has irritated me so much. Simply telling him to stop whining wasn't helping. I felt like a broken record, telling him up to 50 times a day to quit whining and use a "normal" voice. He got to the point where he wouldn't even talk in a "normal" voice anymore, just whine whatever he needed. So, I thought I would try the reward approach to parenting. I am so not against bribbing or giving candy for good behavior--my philosophy is, "If it gets me through the day, I am all about it". So off we went to the Dollar Store to get the supplies we needed to start the "Reward Program". The insentive was--if he made it through the day without whining, he got to put a sticker on that day. I would give him 3 warnings throughout the day, but no more. If he exceeded his 3 warnings, he lost the sticker for that day. If he filled an entire week with stickers, then he gets to go to the Dollar Store and pick anything out that he wants. (I lose $1.00---he gains the best present in the world according to him). Well, as you can see, the first week went great. The 2nd week--not so good, the 3rd week--horrible, and now we are on the 4th week and so far things aren't looking so good. The whining has resumed, the stickers are a thing of the past, and not so fun anymore, the cheering from the siblings is long forgotten----oh the failures we as parents have to overcome.
4 comments:
I'm feeling your pain girlfriend! I was struggling with similar issues . . .
Then, as I was going through my old teaching stuff a while back, I came across a large roll of raffle tickets. I used to use these in my classroom in regards to classroom management . . . which gave me an idea!
At the beginning of the week, my girls each recieve 5 tickets (initials on the back are a must). They recieve tickets for things such as brushing their teeth, making their bed, getting dressed, eating in a timely fashion etc. And if they DON'T do those things, they get one warning, and then a ticket gets taken away. I take tickets away for interrupting, bad language, hitting, whining - you name it! The number of tickets I take depends on the infraction, and the number of warnings . . .
At the end of the week, they turn their tickets in for a nickle a piece. 10% of their earnings go to church, 30% in the piggy bank and 60% to spend.
It has worked like a charm! What can I say? My kids are motivated by cold hard cash! And in the meantime, they're learning about tithing, counting money, adding, subtracting and the old adage "you get what you pay for." Faith is very discerning about what she will or won't spend her money on. Right now, she's sitting on $18.85! Not bad, huh?
Oh, by the way, if they run out of tickets, I start taking nickels for each infraction (but that's only happened once).
So, you give them 5 tickets JUST to start out with, and then add more throughout the week as they do those things you listed? Where do you get more raffle tickets?
They come in a roll of about a million, and you can get them in the party and greeting card section at Meijers - for just a couple bucks. It will last you forever.
I have to give them 5 to start with . . . otherwise there are none to TAKE at first, and I need that leverage - especially with Faith! Otherwise she would plot and scheme against me. She's way too smart. Plus, it's only a quarter on our system.
I've got a whiner too! Nothing makes me more angry, I know what you mean!
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