HELP ME!!!

I should just insert my face into this picture, b/c this is exactly how I am going to feel this upcoming season. I just got done reading an article in The Grand Rapids Press regarding the up and coming fashions. I knew I shouldn't have read it. I new right from the title--"Look Cool For School". Now I am totally depressed. So they say the new fashions are basically what I wore in the 6th grade. Tight jeans, preferably with zippers at the ankles--(just what I need, something to show off every little "leftover" I have after 4 kids-and who called up the 80's hotline?). The tighter the ankle on your jeans the better (ok, there goes the 4 new pair of jeans I bought with flare legs last winter). Ballet type flats (that would be fine, if I didn't buy like 3 or 4 pointy toe boots last year since that was the style). Leggings under mini skirts to go along with those flats. (don't they realize that it snows in Michigan, and some of us have to haul kids in and out of the house--I would fall right on my butt, but I guess I would have that mini skirt to help pad the fall huh?). Multiple layers on top of more layers--preferably longer shirts with shorter vests over the shirt (so in other words, the hotter the better, which = the sweatier and more odor to go along with the odor of formula spit up on everything I own already--lovely picture).

So I am now declaring.... 2006: The year I lost all fashion sense. I have wondered for some time now, at what age do you make that transition from "hip" clothes to, I guess I will just say "mom" clothes? I still feel like I could walk the halls of my old highschool and no one would know I don't belong (although my mom told me, ever so boldly, "Umm, I wouldn't say that."--thanks for the boost mom). I liked the fact that I owned a few pieces of clothing that high school girls would be envious of. I like to think that others looked at me as a "hip mom". Well, I guess the fashion industry made that decision for me--thanks!!

I cannot get myself to believe that I will squeeze me left thigh into those skinny jeans, or sweat my head off with 3 shirts on just for fashion. (although that would be good if Tessa spits on the top shirt, I still have 2 "reserve" ones). It is depressing me to see those 4 new pairs of flare, distressed jeans sitting in my drawer (that I honestly was looking forward to wearing this winter--since I thought they were SOO cool), those 3 pairs of pointy toe shoes, and to think that according to the fashion world--I am OUT!! So, no longer that image in my head of the hip, instyle, envy of teenagers 30 something,--no, I am now (and probably always will be from here on out) a few steps closer to this photo! Depressing--...

I Take My Family For Granted

I have had one of those weepy days. One of those days in which you could burst into tears at any given time for no apparent reason. It started last night, when I found myself surfing the blogging world, and came across a blog. www.tebspage.blogspot.com. I don't know how I came across it or who any of these people are on it, but I found myself engrossed in this woman's life. A 30 year old attorney with a 9mo. old son. She started a blog to show off pics of her family to other family members (my reasoning for starting mine), and a few months into it, she got stage IV melanoma cancer. Her blog then turns into her journey with cancer. I have not been able to get her out of my mind all day. Her courage and strength that she shows through her entries is amazing. I keep thinking that this woman is MY age--30. Here she is facing this terminal illness, with a loving husband and child--this could be ME!!
My life seems to be mondane, and dreadfully boring at times. Not being able to go out in public by myself during the day with the kids seems to be wearing on me. I feel myself getting shorter and shorter with my temper lately, and for what reason? Who knows! Reading this woman's blog, I think the weepieness (Not a word, I know) came from knowing that I have not been TRULY thankful to God lately for the situation/family/time that HE has put me in right now. I think I have just been dwelling on the selfish things--MY boredom, MY lack of adult converstation, the feeling of never any ME time, ... Instead, I need to focus on the blessings of 4 wonderful kids, that at one point in our lives we didn't think we would ever be able to have. A husband who surpasses anyone elses (sorry ladies-) who doesn't mind me going out any night after he comes home from work b/c he knows I NEED to just "get out". Kids who are out of this world vivacious--a quote from Dean sums it up, "You would never want to take the spirit out of our kids, but boy would you like to shut it off at times". I need to feel lucky to have healthy, rambunctious kids!! A husband who I can honestly say, makes me feel just as beautiful now-and at times even more so, after 4 kids and 8 years of marriage, as he did when we first met. I need to realize that ALL that I have been given--the good and the bad--comes from HIM!!! B/c ALL of this could be taken away--it is not mine to keep. I have taken the family that God has given me for granted. I have gotten caught up in the day to day living and giving, that I have not even sat back to enjoy my kids at the ages they are at.
Again, I think in reading this women's blog, I realized that I could put my name in any of her entries--30 year old mother with a wonderful husband--but.....would I have been as optimistic or as strong? Would my entries read like hers? Would I be facing death at my doorstep as bravely as she? And I think the thing that has made me weepy, is not knowing.

Holy Cows

Dean and the kids have this Sunday night tradition of going on a "woods walk". There is this awesome trail around the pond in our backyard and every Sunday night they venture out to become the next explorers. It always consists of stopping to feed the cows about half way through and finding something interesting (or at least interesting in 3 and 4 year old minds) to bring back to mommy. I have grown to LOVE this "woods walk", not only b/c I see the kids eyes light up when they get to have time with daddy, but selfishly I love being in the house all alone--which happens about 30 minutes out of the week!! I love the fact that Dean takes time to look at flowers or sticks or anything else that interests them. If it were me, I would be hurrying them through, not stopping to look at anything, b/c I wanted to just "get it over with". I have never been into nature. I would be the one that always ran to the end of the hiking trail and would just wait for the rest of my family when I was growing up. It would always annoy me that they would stop to look at every piece of moss or flower or anything else that I felt was insignificant. So, I appreciate that Dean takes his own sweet time to let the kids wander and enjoy nature. And, it also gives me more time to myself!!!

3 Years Old!!

We celebrated Thys and Josie's 3rd birthday last night. I cannot believe that they are 3 already. We had a big party with family, cake and ice cream, and then had a bondfire out back with smores---the kids didn't fall asleep until 11:00pm (I wonder why). Josie is obsessed lately with pink flamingo's (or fladingo's, as she calles them), hence the flamingo cake--thanks Jenny for the awesome cakes you made!! We played "find the flamingo" in the yard--which was a big hit also.
I thank God daily that he gave me these 2 precious miracles. They have been such a joy to have around. They have given us many stressful moments, but more joyous ones to count.